Harry Potter and the Alias Crossover
by Kirbilius Clausius
Summary: An Alias TV show Harry Potter crossover. No, really. Honest.


Hagrid and Harry walked from his hut to the castle proper.

"Now, Harry.", Hagrid began. "You know I shouldn't be givin' you this. It's an extremely powerful thing, it is. But/"

Hagrid stopped in midsentence to slap what felt like a huge misquito bite on his neck. Then he felt the pricks even under his clothes. Hagrid looked down and saw an expression of horror on the Potter boy. Then the drowsiness fell on him like a dragon's treasure.

Through droopy eyes, Hagrid gave Harry only one instruction. "Run, Harry. To the casss..."

Harry hesitated a moment, torn between helping his friend and the impossibilities that imposed-like how to move Hagrid or defend him against an attack he still didn't percieve. In that moment, a dart materialized on Harry's chest and he fell to the ground.

"Shotgun, this is Outrigger. Patrol neutralized.", a lump of grass said.

72 HOURS EARLIER

"Screens in lockdown.", Marshall stated.

Jack nodded. Then Director Chase nodded. Then the four guards surrounding the short man in a highly styled, maybe even outlandish suit nodded. Then they took the black bag off his head.

Then it was apparent that this wasn't a short man. It was blonde kid, maybe 13 or 14 years old. The look he gave the guard unchaining him was one of utter disdain.

Director Chase spoke. "Agent Dixon, could you find somewhere comfortable for Mr. Malfoy. Director Bristow?" Sidney looked up. "Your office." Jack nodded again and led the way back to his office.

The two directors, once seated behind closed doors, lost a touch of their formality. "You want to tell me what this is about, Hayden?", Jack started.

"Sure, Jack.", Chase replied. "About a week ago, that kid out there walked through the front doors of Langley and said he needed to talk to the biggest person we had. The receptionist didn't give him the slightest towards a warm reception. Then he turned the front desk into water. With this."

Jack raised an eyebrow. Hayden took a small case, like one for glasses only longer, from her blazer. When she openned it, he could see a small perfect baton of ebony.

"This got kicked over to me because the CIA at large knows how I dealt with Rambaldi. And believe me, that little bastard is the strangest thing outside of Rambaldi I've ever heard. Unfortunately, I and you know I didn't deal with Rambaldi, your candlestine team hear at APO did. That's why I'm kicking this entire walk-in direct to you."

"Find out exactly what he knows about what. Find out why he came to us. Find out what we're...you're supposed to do about it."

Jack looked pensive for a moment. "If that weapon is so dangerous, why are you just carrying it in your jacket and not a containment unit?"

"That's just it.", Chase started. "According to every test my tech people could run, it's not a weapon. It's just a shaft of wood. According to our medical team, that kid is in the best health anyone on the planet could be in. But he's got no I.D. anywhere-no birth certificate, no listing at any school, no health insurance. It's like he's been living in some other world and just fell into ours."

Jack answered non-commitally. "I'll have my team look into it."

aliaS

A few minutes later, Jack and Sydney Bristow, Marcus Dixon, Micheal Vaughn, Eric Weiss and Marshall Flinkman sat at the table in the conference room. All eyes were on their new "guest."

Jack Bristow began. "Mr. Malfoy, suppose you tell us why you're here."

"Are you the biggest man you muggles have?", the young teen asked as if he disbelieved.

Marshall cut in. "Oh yeah. Jack's like Superbad and Supercool all mixed into one. Like James Bond meets Dolemite meets the Fonz meets/"

"That's enough, Marshall.", Jack stopped him.

"Oh, sorry Mr. Bristow.", Marshall apologized.

"Very well.", Mr. Malfoy said. Then after a moment, "You know, I had this all worked out in my head. But every time I've tried to explain it to you people, it hasn't gone very well. So why don't you start asking questions and I'll answer them and we'll see if you can understand the answers enough to be of some use."

"Arrogant much?", Vaughn snorted.

"Agent Vaughn.", Jack chastised. "How about telling us exactly who you are?"

"Draco Malfoy, of the Malfoy line. We're a pureblood house dating back to the days of Merlin. Before coming to your world, I was a fourth form student of House Slytherin at Hogwarts School of Wizarding.", Draco answered.

"Did that make sense?", Weiss asked.

"It did if you weren't ignorant of the wizarding world, muggle.", Draco snapped back.

"Why don't you start explaining some of the terms you're using?", Sydney stepped in. "Why do you keep calling people, 'muggul'?"

"It's 'muggle', muggle.", Draco stated. "No wonder you people are muggles, you can't even master enunciation."

"A muggle is someone who is not a wizard or witch. A person who is not aware of the wizarding world and has no inherent wizarding ability. On a very rare occassion a mudblood will come along who is capable of our world and will stop being a muggle in an attempt to better themselves to our level. They'll never be a pureblood, but the Ministry of Magic has seen fit to let them make the attempt."

"Wizard?", Vaughn asked. "You mean like a magician?"

"Yes, Agent, was it? Well, that is sort of the definition, isn't it.", Draco stated sarcastically.

"Mr. Malfoy, Agent's Vaughn's name is Micheal Vaughn. Agent is his title and job description.", Jack informed.

"You mean you aren't a Master of Espionage and they're not your apprentices?", Draco asked. "This is going to take a long time."

"I can't believe we're even entertaining this.", Vaughn stated. "I mean, sure we've seen a lot of things, but magic? Honest to goodness magic?"

"My wand, if you please, Mr. Bristow.", Malfoy called. His hand was already out, as if it was inconcievable for him to be disobeyed.

Jack's mind automatically slipped into game theory. Yes, his claims were highly irregular but that didn't dismiss them entirely. If they were so many lies of a deluded little boy, then anyone in the room (even Marshall) could disarm the child of his stick. If Draco was as he claimed a wizard from some other dimension, then his danger level was completely unknown. With Sloane still alive, he didn't know if his position would make Sydney enough of a princess to change Vaughn back from a toad after Malfoy changed him. However, for his team to function with complete impunity they needed a certain level of fear instilled in them, and a slightly dangerous use of any 'powers' Draco may have would prove useful to that end. It boiled down to being able to accept the level of damage that any display might produce.

Without missing a beat, Jack asked, "How do we know you won't turn Agent Vaughn into a toad?"

Draco smiled. "I came here for your help. Even I don't think you'll work for me if I start transmogriphiing the simpler of you into animals. Do you have a lump of lead?"

Marshall spoke up. "Well, not really a lump, but I should have a few extra sheets of it. I use it to disguise bugs under x-ray. Does it have to be in a lump? I suppose I could melt it with this really cool cool laser I just got in. It's actually a cool laser, not that it isn't 'cool cool', just pointing out th/"

"Go get the lead, Marshall.", Jack cut off.

"Uh, right, Mr. Bristow."

A few minutes later, a square foot of lead was on the conference table. Draco had his ebony stick in his hand (and strangely enough looked much better for it). "plumbum transformo aurum", Draco commanded. And with a flick of his wand, as it now was surely apparent it was a wand, a wash of color came over the metal. The foot of metal was now solid gold.

"Please continue.", Jack said amicably without changing expression.

aliAs

Sydney and Vaughn walked into APO together.

"You know I still can't believe it.", Vaughn said. "I mean, a whole world of magicians just under our noses for the past thousand years."

"Wizards, Vaughn.", Sydney corrected.

"Wizards, whatever.", Vaughn repsonded. "Do you buy it?"

"I have my half sister (by my KGB pretender mother and her demon of a father) in the hospital because a 15th century prophet designed a forcefield contained water poison to turn the world into zombies over the Russian air command sattelite network.", Sydney answered. "After that demonstration yesterday, I'm trying to remember if I have any loose lead around the house."

At that moment, Weiss spotted them. "Came back for more Fun With Little English Magic Bastards, I see."

"Agent Weiss.", Jack Bristow stated. He seemed to pop out of nowhere as usual. "Good morning, Sydney. I will be holding a briefing in the conference room. See that you don't miss it."

A few moments later, the usual suspects were assembled in the conference room along with Malfoy.

Jack started. "After reviewing the knowledge that Mr. Malfoy was able to dispense, I've come up with an inevitable yet achievable objective."

"Mr. Malfoy is only in his fourth year of education. So while he has been a font of information and will continue usefullness in interpreting any new information, we do need to procure enough background to properly form an endgame. There are two such sources that Mr. Malfoy is intimately familiar-his family library and that of his school's. Because of his father's position, Mr. Malfoy's home is under heavy guard by a number of magical creatures and trained defense wizards. Hogwarts, however, is guarded only by its faculty-teachers mostly. Both of these targets are equally difficult to travel to due to their extradimensional locations. And while one is much larger than the other, the school is on much more strict a schedule."

"So I'm tasking you with the procurement of research materials. Sydney, Vaughn, Weiss and Dixon-you will be following a route drawn up for you by Mr. Malfoy to the school's libraries. There you will acquire as many remedial reference materials as you can carry. We don't want anything too advanced for Mr. Malfoy to explain to us. Mr. Malfoy will be arranging travel."

Malfoy then started speaking. "We can't really floo in from here. But we could fly in. The only problem is that Hogwarts would be completely hidden to you muggles until you were actually on the grounds. I've been told by Flinkman that your flying machines need to be piloted to land, and that wouldn't work. However, you can jump from these 'planes' and throw a ground vehicle from them. I'll guide you on the way down by broom. Once you have the books and meet me by the castle gates, you'll board the 'humveeitsaformoftruck" and I'll lead you by broom until we've returned to the muggle world. Any questions?"

"Um, if I could um...", Marshall forwarded hesitantly. "How are they supposed to physically travel there, if this school is in some other dimension? I mean, wouldn't they have to shift their string vibrations to match the frequen/"

"Magic.", Malfoy stated simply.

"I've got some questions.", Sydney said. All eyes fell on her. "From your breifing yesterday, it sounded like your family's pretty rich. You're pretty set up in your world. Why even come to us? Let us know that wizards exist?"

Jack glared at her without trying to show he was glaring at her.

Malfoy chuckled. "I'm a fickle teenager? I think I'm good enough to know what I'm doing, even though I don't? Why does it matter mug...Agent Bristow? Is it not enough that your 'endgame', as your father puts it, is the same as mine-to end the charade that we don't exist?"

"I don't trust anyone that I don't know the motivations of.", Sydney replied. "How do we know that you aren't setting us up?"

"You'll just have to keep me around and see.", Malfoy answered.

Jack interrupted. "Marshall, do you have...?"

"Oh yeah.", Marshall stated. He then pulled up what looked like a bolt-action rifle. "This is a very recent Flinkman design. This is an automatic tranquilizer gun that uses the typical bullet firing technology rather than compressed air. Each clip carries 35 rounds and weighs less than 5 ounces so you can be like pop pop pop and just have more. And it switches from single shot to automatic, so in case you run across, say, a griffon, you can just flip the switch and unload on that bad boy."

"Thank you, Marshall.", Jack cut off any further ramblings. "You'll leave for England immediately. You'll drop tomorrow at 2200. The school's curfew should be in effect by then and you shouldn't have to worry about random children bandying about, just the occassional teacher."

alIas

Approaching the middle of the night, a cargo plane was flying over some farms in England. "Here, drop us here!", Malfoy yelled at the pilot in the cockpit.

"I don't see any castle or lake or anything!", the pilot yelled back.

"Didn't they tell you that!", Malfoy yelled before going to the cargo bay.

In the cargo bay, Vaughn, Sydney, Dixon and Weiss were in black covert ops gear. Their parachutes were on their backs and a bag hung in front of them. They each had something on their heads that Malfoy didn't recognize.

"What are those?", Malfoy asked while pointing at the strange head wear.

"They're helmets.", Sydney told him.

"Don't tell me you don't have helmets.", Vaughn said.

"I'll have you know that there are many things the wizarding world has not seen the use of, Agent Vaughn.", Malfoy snippily replied.

Weiss apppeared puzzled. "Then what happens if you rode that broom stick into the ground or a wall or something?"

"Then the witch would die.", Malfoy stated matter-of-factly.

Dixon held a helmet out ot him. "We brought one for you."

Malfoy looked at him with an expression they hadn't seen on his face before-gratitude. "Thank you.", the boy said hesitantly.

Then the go light came on and the cargo bay doors openned. A fierce wind ripped through the interior of the plane. Sydney nodded to Malfoy. "You're leading the way."

Malfoy narrowed his eyes, as if to communicate 'I know that.' He placed his head in the helmet and yelled "up". An ebony broom with silver lettering and green hued straw jumped into his hand. Then without a parachute, Malfoy ran to the openning in the plane and jumped out. The rest of them looked at each other a little leerily, but followed him out. The humvee would follow them out, assisted by the plane crew.

The team had been on numerous jumps before. That's what allowed them to pay more attention on the blonde kid with only a broom to keep him from becoming a small puddle on impact. Then a somewhat convenient cloud passed in front of them.

As soon as they were on the other side of the cloud, the entire scene had changed. An incredible forest went on past where the eye could see. On the otherside of the huge castle, a midnight black lake went on forever. And in the middle, loomed a castle larger than any building built by man.

They barely noticed Malfoy physically pull on the handle of his broom. Soon he was effortlessly flying between them, yelling "Stop falling!" "Stop falling!" When they pulled their chutes, he would go on to the next one. And when all of them were safely floating to the ground, he magically matched their slow rate of descent. Even when they were on the ground and taking off their chutes, he floated on the broom above them.

"Get down here.", Sydney hissed.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, but obeyed anyway. "Who do you think you are to order me/"

"Look!", Sydney snapped. "You came to us because you know we're able to help you. Part of that is letting us do what we do. And if you get spotted, then all this goes to hell. So you will not, WILL NOT, fly around making it rediculously easy to spot you and blow this whole mission. Do you understand?"

Malfoy nearly felt the fear that his father inspired when he was scolded. Malfoy looked wary, then nodded.

Sydney nodded back.

Draco looked up, shielding his eyes. After looking at apparently nothing, he seemed to spot what he was searching for. "The muggles in your metal bird seemed to have dropped the ground vehicle in the wrong direction. I'm going to have to bring it back here. Can you follow the directions I wrote for you without me?", he asked.

Weiss scoffed. "I don't know. They don't really stress being able to read English in 'muggle-school'.", he quipped.

Draco muttered, "Damn. Alright, let me explain this to/"

Sydney cut him off. "He was joking, Malfoy."

Draco raised an eyebrow to Weiss. "oh", he judged. Then he gave one of the falsest laughs the team had ever heard. "I'll meet you back here.", the boy said. Then he sped off on his broom into the night.

"I got a bad feeling about this, Syd.", Vaughn cautioned.

"I get a bad feeling when the U.S. government sells out to Sloane. Again. Tranquing dragons and stealing history books on secret magical cultures-why that's positively uplifting.", she replied.

Then the team pulled the contents of their front packs out. In a moment, they were all equipped with the same grassy-night camoflauge that Marine snipers use. Slowly they made their way to Castle Hogwarts.

aLias

Hagrid and Harry walked from his hut to the castle proper.

"Now, Harry.", Hagrid began. "You know I shouldn't be givin' you this. It's an extremely powerful thing, it is. But/"

Hagrid stopped in midsentence to slap what felt like a huge misquito bite on his neck. Then he felt the pricks even under his clothes. Hagrid looked down and saw an expression of horror on the Potter boy. Then the drowsiness fell on him like a dragon's treasure.

Through droopy eyes, Hagrid gave Harry only one instruction. "Run, Harry. To the casss..."

Harry hesitated a moment, torn between helping his friend and the impossibilities that imposed-like how to move Hagrid or defend him against an attack he still didn't percieve. In that moment, a dart materialized on Harry's chest and he fell to the ground.

"Shotgun, this is Outrigger. Patrol neutralized.", a lump of grass said.

Next to the wall surrounding the castle, Vaughn replied. "Copy that, Outrigger."

Sydney was whirling a grappling hook on a rope around in the meantime. She let loose and it caught on the top of the wall. Soon, Vaughn and Sydney were doing a much more grueling impersonation of Batman and Robin from the show in the 70s. Once over, the two slid down the interior of the wall much faster than they climbed. As soon as they hit the ground, they dove prone and became one with the lawn again. The two patches of grass looked around and spotted no one.

"Alright guys.", Sydney called over their comms. "We're going for the castle proper."

"I got you.", Dixon called out from his position near the front gates. He had been warned that attempting to breach the gates directly would sound a magical alarm throughout the castle. But since owls, registered or not, seemed to fly in and out of the castle freely, it was probably okay to shoot through the gate. "No one in any exterior passages on my side."

"Holy---it's a ghost.", Weiss insistently whispered. He looked through the scope of his sniper rifle at the apparition. It was a white and grey figure of a man, dressed in 17th century clothing. He seemed quite at peace for a ghost, with a night cap and tea cup. But then what did Weiss know about ghosts? The ghost disappeared into a wall. "Alright, I'm clear on my side too."

The two patches of grass that were really Vaughn and Sydney made it to the castle proper. There, they found a door that Draco had described. Vaughn listenned intently at the door, then nodded. Sydney nodded back, pointed two fingers at her eyes, pointed at the door, then pointed two fingers down and wiggled them before finishing with a thumbs up. Vaughn nodded again and openned the door. Sydney quickly ducked her head in and ducked back out. She then gave a thumbs up and the two of them sprinted into the castle.

The two darted up a circular stair way that seemed to go on forever. Then they made their way down a long hallway lined with paintings that seemed normal except all the people in them were sleeping. The two sprinted past one painting at the end of the hallway before turning a tight corner. The man in the painting muttered, "huh? Was'that?" He looked around, saw no one and drifted back off to sleep.

The two agents then heard footsteps approaching, in the direction they were travelling. They darted behind seperate pillars on either end of the hallway. A very Irish woman, appearing in her late 40s and dressed in heavy dark robes, walked towards their position. Just before a glance to either side would have spotted the two tresspassers, Vaughn leapt behind her and raised both her arms in a full Nelson. Before she could utter a sound, Sydney had side kicked her in her temple. The woman fell to the floor unconcious. Sydney and Vaughn both grabbed and arm and dragged her to a near by door. It was unlocked and they stashed the woman in what appeared to be the most Gothic classroom they had ever seen.

The two continued on their way and got to what they could only assume was the magical library. There was no end in sight to rows upon rows of books. More incredibly, books seemed to float down the aisles.

"Okay, let's get what we came here for.", Sydney said.

"And then get the hell out of here.", Vaughn replied.

The two ran up to the first two rows. Fortunately, both rows had signs on them stating 'First Years' in calligraphy. The two started scanning books.

"The History of the Wizarding World, J.K. Rowling.", Sydney called out softly before unrolling a sack and shoving the book inside.

"Beginning Potions: A Study in Alchemy, S. Snape.", Vaughn called out and shoved the book into his own sack.

"Your Shape and Its Transmogrification, T.E.L.L. All.", Sydney said and stole another book.

A few more books dissappeared off the shelves of Hogwarts. Then the two withdrew as fast as they had entered. The two nearly took a turn off their path in favor of a more direct route down. Then they saw the stair cases move without any evidence of motors, even clamping down on Vaughn's trainqulizer gun in the process. After struggling ineffectively to get it loose, Vaughn decided to slip it off rather than risk waiting for the staircase to move again (if ever) or worse-for another stair case to come and crush them. Sydney and Vaughn backtracked their way exactly to the rope, climed it and slid down the other side.

"We're out. Meet back at the extraction point.", Sydney said to no one in particular. Dropping back to the ground, she again became one of four patches of grass crawling away from the castle.

Alias

"Where's Malfoy?", Vaughn asked aloud back at the extraction point. Dixon and Weiss had made it back before Sydney and Vaughn, but Draco was no where to be found. Just as Weiss was about to commented, they saw a dark spot in the sky. As it came closer, it was clear that it was one large object hanging from a parachute and a much smaller one buzzing around it. Every time the large object was about to float away from the agents on the ground, Malfoy called out "Accio" and the object came closer to him. With a loud thump, the humvee came to rest in front of them.

"Can't you muggles even get a vehicle to go where it needs to go?", Malfoy asked. "How are you expecting to drive it out of here if it needed my help to get to you in the first place?"

"Our vehicles don't drive themselves, remember?", Sydney responded. Then she noticed how much Draco was sweating. "Are you alright to lead us out of here?", she asked.

"Yes.", the obviously tired Draco replied with continuing crisp enunciation. "I simply haven't cast 'Accio' on such a heavy object that many times in a row before. But fortunately, the broom does all the work. Come on, let's get back to the muggle world."

Soon, the Humvee was disengaged from it's harness and parachute. The four adults threw those, and their parachutes and their gear in the truck leaving no trace of themselves from the extraction site. Malfoy led them away from the castle over a rolling plane to a dirt road. After a bit, they came to a mysterious fog bank and once they were through it Draco set down on the side of the road.

The humvee pulled over. "I think it's now your turn to get us home.", the boy said while climbing in the back seat next to Weiss.


End file.
